Thankful Love

"Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven- for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little, loves little." Luke 7:47

There isn't a story in the bible that I relate to more than this one. I guess it is because of her desperation, her courage, and her utter devotion to Jesus that draws me to her. She is the symbol of all of our brokenness. She is the embodiment of our lives. Yes maybe she was a "bigger sinner" than you or I might be, but what gives us the right to judge her sin? In reality, you and I are no better than her, and if we are truly honest with ourselves, we might be worse. Sin is sin is sin. In God's eyes sin is ANYTHING that separates you from Him. Your pride that won't let you forgive, sin. The lust you have after that hunky guy on the TV screen, sin. The fact that you put your earthly marriage before your love of God, sin. It doesn't matter if you are a murderer, or an everyday girl like me. YOU are a sinner and fall short of the glory of God.


I'm that girl...
Now those of us with pretty lengthy lists tend to carry with us this burden of guilt and shame that is so heavy. It feels as if the world is staring down at us and pressing with all its might. I imagine that is exactly what she felt like the moment before she was at Jesus' feet. She probably was at the rock bottom. She couldn't bare it anymore, and there was her Savior in the very room she was about to enter. Can you imagine how she felt? I bet it took everything she had not to drop that alabaster bottle she carried gently in her hands. She was no doubtingly trembling. I imagine she hadn't slept, or eaten. She was tattered, torn, and weary. I wonder what she felt when she touched Jesus for the first time? Did she instantly burst into tears like I know I would have? Or did she hold her composure at least until He acknowledged her? I can only say that I know what I would have felt. I would have been in shambles the moment I saw Him and knew who He was. I can imagine that it was that very same feeling I had when I finally surrendered to him. You know the feeling, the huge breath you take after that unbearable weight was taken from your shoulders. I can guarantee that all I would want to do was love on Him. When started sobbing it was the release of something that had bound her to this Earth for so long. The love she showed to Jesus by washing His feet was her thankfulness. I would have loved to had the "story behind the story." Did she finally sleep through the night for the first time in years? Did food taste better? Did she walk with her head held a little higher that day? I wonder how long it was before she washed her hair after that event? It would have been very hard for me to have done that. I would have wanted to keep that scent around me forever. I guess as a woman I relish in those things. Just to know that my hair had touched the King of Heaven.... ahhh! what a glorious thought!  Just to breathe in Jesus for a moment!


Through the eyes of Our Savior...
Can you imagine how Jesus must have felt when He saw her enter the room. I wonder if He thought she was beautiful? I'm sure He did. He thinks that of all of His brides. You know that we are never more beautiful to Him than when we finally surrender it all? So when you are ragged, worn down, with your hair a mess, and no make up and you finally say, "I give in! You can have me Lord," that is when you are the most gorgeous! But you know, I bet as much as she felt loved that day, He probably felt that love as well. He had to have seen it in her face. He is God in the flesh. I wish I could know if it was pleasing to Him to see her and know what she was facing to ask His forgiveness. I am curious if this was a moment during His time on this Earth that He did relish in the scent of being loved back. Because after all, that is all He wants from us. For us to love and worship Him. I can't think of a better, more holy way of worshiping the Lord than washing His feet with your own tears of love. You know, ssometimes what we say in our darkest desperation is the sweetest to His ears. Our sobs are like music of a thousand Heavenly harps. Yes the praise is wonderful and mighty, but the honest, heartfelt pleas of forgiveness are so precious to Him. It validates what He did on the cross. It makes it worth it to Him. It proves to Him that it wasn't in vain, and I bet what she did for Him that day was give Him courage to face what He was going to face one day. That is so beautiful.


If it is a secret... it can't be good.
I know that there is more to this story than just what she went through, but to me it doesn't matter. You see, I am that woman, and that is the lesson I need. Maybe you are the old guy in the corner that criticized Jesus for even letting her touch Him. And if you are, then maybe one day, you will realize that you are no better than her. Your sins aren't cleaner, or prettier. You can't buy them away, or hide them under the covers thinking no one knows. Your secrets are your chains. Her secrets are her freedom. Why? because she let Jesus take them from her. I know people like that. High and mighty.... Think they are all that. Their sins aren't as bad as mine, and they are better people than me. You know what.... I don't get angry at them for thinking that. I used to. But now I feel sorry for them. Because you see, I have something they don't. Freedom. I don't have to live worrying about that stuff "coming out" anymore. I admitted my wrongs. I paid my dues. I asked for forgiveness for my sins. I don't have to live like that guy does... constantly worrying when someone might find out the truth, and what will he do when that happens? Cause it might not happen on this earth, but it will happen standing in front of God, and personally, I'd rather be forgiven now, than ever hear, "That one isn't mine, " in Heaven.

The beauty in it all...
I am an artist by nature, so I find the beauty in imagery. I love to stop and picture this scene in my mind. It is one of the most beautiful things I can imagine. It is a pure image of love and devotion, of kindness, and peace. I love my Lord Jesus so! He is amazingly perfect, and wonderfully beautiful. I treasure my moments with Him. I wish I could convert what is in my mind to canvas better than I do, but in reality even if I was the most gifted artist, you still wouldn't be able to compare it to what I see inside my thoughts. I can't describe it. Maybe it is because within the pictures, and faces, is the love. I see love in colors and movements. Breaths of air, and gentleness. The kindness in His eyes, the pain in hers. Love has so many facets, so many dimensions. It is a no wonder we find it so difficult to capture in art. I truly wish I could though, because maybe more people would see the graciousness of the King of Kings if I could!

Until next time, Read through that old story.

Enjoy it, relish in it and keep it close to your heart.

You are a beautiful gift to God. Never take that for granted!

Always praying for you,

even if I don't know who you are....

Jessica